Heart Therapy: Fears

I was blog wandering this Tuesday and came upon this wonderful blog and an even more wonderful link up.  I think too often in bloggy world we put up a front, many don't show the real life if you will and only the happy moments.  My blog is my little space and just like my life it's filled with real emotion, thoughts and feelings..whatevers happening in my life you can find it here.  So as my personal therapy tonight..a little heart therapy!

Tonights topic: fears

  • I have a crazy fear of death, always have and have had panic atticks when I was as little as 10.  After loosing my mom last year I'm even more afraid to die.  Not just death itself but how, when, what happends, I'm no huge fan of uncertainty and there's alot in death.  I guess if I had my way I'd like to know when and how so I can better prepare.
  • I have a fear of failure: at work I'm my own biggest critic, I work atleast 45 hours a week and typically work through lunch and arrive early.  I strive for perfection I'm everything I do when it comes to work, I take it personally when I make a mistake and feel like I'm letting my boss and my company done not just myself.
  • I fear being alone: truth be told I'm seriously afraid of being alone.  I want to be married, have babies and live happly ever after, it's totally on my 5 year plan. I thought by 25 I'd be married and probably have babies, sadly that's not the case.  There's not even a marriage in my near future. Le sigh.  Does anyone know a good man in MD?
  • I'm afraid of heights: I didn't realize this until I went zip lining in Mexico.  Climbing the steps to go 60 feet up in the air in a ricktly made tower gave me anxiety like no other.  I had to literally use the hand rail and push myself up the steps, once I got to the top I shook like a leaf, I did zipline and repeal and no, I'm not anyless afraid.  As a matter of fact, I couldn't complete the zip like due to sheer terror and I decided to walk myself back threw the jungle with a wonderful Mexican man instead of going on with my group.

Did I mention I repelled in flip flops?  Oh and I also fell against the podeum because of said flip flops.  Yup, true story!

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